NABILA AVIANI
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©Nabila Aviani, 2025.
2025
Impostor syndrome, 2025
Oil paint on canvas, 75 cm x 120 cm
This painting explores impostor syndrome, suggesting, “Perhaps I manifested my misery.” It reflects overthinking and anxiety, where self-blame intensifies suffering. The phrase implies a spiritual perspective, linking to karma and manifestation—the idea that one’s thoughts and actions shape their reality, thus questioning personal responsibility for emotional pain. I’m scared of myself, 2025
Oil paint on canvas, 70 cm x 100 cm
Have you ever felt disconnected from your own body? This painting explores dissociation through muted, sombre tones and a distorted, fear-stricken face. The absence of a body heightens the sense of fragmentation, emphasising the unsettling divide between mind and self. The painting evokes anxiety and unease, immersing the viewer in this disorienting experience.
Memento mori, 2025
Oil paint on canvas, 50 cm x 70 cm
Inspired by the Latin phrase memento mori, this painting explores the inseparable connection between life and death. It subtly evokes reincarnation, illustrating the cyclical nature of existence—where life begets death, and death begets life. It reflects the paradox of endings as beginnings, encapsulating the eternal dance between mortality and renewal.
Consumed by negativity, 2025
Oil paint on canvas, 60 cm x 80 cm
When negativity consumes the mind, it entangles thoughts until they become the self. This painting depicts that transformation—vein-like structures engulf the figure, symbolising overwhelming despair. The obscured face reflects a lost identity, suffocated by intrusive thoughts. It’s a warning of how unchecked negativity can reshape and define a person.
2024
But I must remain calm, 2024
Acrylic paint on canvas, 100 cm x 100 cm
This painting examines the struggle of suppressing emotions to meet societal expectations. It critiques the pressure to appear stable while internally unravelling. Through distorted imagery and tension, the work questions why authenticity is discouraged, urging reflection on emotional restraint, the masks we wear, and the necessity of embracing true feelings. Selamat jalan kekasih/Goodbye my darling, 2024
Acrylic paint on canvas, 60 cm x 80 cm
Inspired by Chrisye’s Selamat Jalan Kekasih, this painting reflects the artist’s emotional turmoil during a depressive episode. The song’s farewell theme becomes a metaphor for her fraught relationship with art—love entangled with self-doubt. Created in vulnerability, it captures longing, despair, and the imagined rupture between artist and creativity. Smoking kills?, 2024
Acrylic paint on canvas, 90 cm x 100 cm
"Smoking kills, but my mind kills me faster" encapsulates the painting’s exploration of addiction and mental suffering. It reflects the artist’s belief that mental anguish outweighs smoking’s physical harm. The work lays bare the overwhelming weight of internal struggles, offering a raw reflection on the intersection of addiction and mental health.
Manic accident, 2024
Oil paint on canvas, 90 cm x 120 cm
What began as a simple self-portrait became an intuitive expression of mania. This painting emerged from a mistake, evolving into raw emotion through frantic brushstrokes. The figure’s intense gaze contrasts the chaos, capturing the depth of the experience and revealing how spontaneity can transform accidents into powerful, expressive art. Self-portrait of my tearful face, 2024
Oil paint on canvas, 60 cm x 80 cm
This self-portrait captures despair, emptiness, and the weight of worthlessness, yet beneath the gloom lies resilience. It reflects the struggle of confronting pain while reminding us that emotions, like passing clouds, are transient. Even in darkness, the painting symbolises hope, recovery, and the possibility of renewal. Rumination, 2024
Oil on canvas, 60 cm x 80 cm
“Rumination” portrays the overwhelming grip of obsessive thoughts, with bold black strokes symbolising their suffocating presence. The figure is trapped within, consumed by its own mind. The painting explores how rumination restricts peace, highlighting the confining power of mental states and their ability to control and constrain the individual. Inconsistent Perceptions, 2024
Oil paint on canvas, 70 cm x 100 cm
Inspired by a 2020 sketch by Nabila Aviani, this painting explores identity as a fluid, ever-shifting construct. Challenging the idea of a singular 'real' self, it suggests that identity is fragmented, shaped by others' perceptions. The work questions whether an authentic self can exist, refracted through others’ lenses. I'm going insane and I'm coping with humour, 2024
Oil paint on canvas, 50 cm x 70 cm
In this self-portrait, the figure’s rolling eye and hand dragging down the other convey emotional turmoil hidden behind a calm façade. The half-face invites curiosity, leaving viewers questioning if the figure is on the edge of insanity. The work explores the tension between internal chaos and external composure. A translation of mania and depression, 2024
Oil paint on canvas, 160 cm x 120 cm
This is a series of two paintings depicting the contrasting states of bipolar disorder. “Mania” uses cool, ghastly tones to evoke its overlooked nature, while “Depression” features vibrant hues, subverting expectations. The arrangement reflects the cyclical nature of bipolar disorder, with mania preceding depression.
Anger is pain, 2024
Oil paint on canvas, 120 cm x 80 cm
The lightning striking the figure symbolises anger’s intensity and its underlying pain. Anger, as a secondary emotion, masks grief, sadness, and disappointment—emotions rooted in pain. This work explores how anger, though fierce, reflects deeper vulnerability, revealing that it cannot exist without the suffering that fuels it. Real eyes realise real lies, 2024
Oil paint on canvas, 120 cm x 90 cm
Inspired by the quote “Real eyes realise real lies,” this painting reflects on the pervasive influence of misinformation. It explores the blurred line between truth and deception, urging viewers to question narratives and uncover hidden truths. The work invites critical thinking and a deeper understanding of media manipulation. Continuation of discourse between man and monkey, 2024
Acrylic paint on canvas, 115 cm x 75 cm
This painting humorously captures a man and monkey engaged in an intense staredown, blurring the power hierarchy between humans and animals. It highlights the potential for coexistence and mutual understanding, inviting viewers to reflect on the bonds that transcend species and the harmony found in embracing our shared existence. My ghastly face upon seeing my psychosis demons, 2024
Oil paint on canvas, 70 cm x 70 cm
This self-portrait depicts a figure emerging from shadows, face etched with anxiety and paranoia. The painting evokes shock, capturing the moment of suspended breath. The eerie atmosphere reflects the chaos and disorientation of psychosis, with the figure’s expression intensifying the confusion and terror of being trapped in such an experience. Again part 1: A Hopeful Future, 2024
Acrylic paint on canvas, 140 cm x 100 cm
Inspired by Lenny Kravitz’s song “Again,” this self-portrait conveys longing and hope for a brighter future. The figure’s distant gaze symbolises a search for something greater, driven by optimism. Soft pastel colours evoke a sense of hope, reflecting the emotional depth of yearning for change and a better tomorrow.
Oil paint on canvas, 75 cm x 120 cm
This painting explores impostor syndrome, suggesting, “Perhaps I manifested my misery.” It reflects overthinking and anxiety, where self-blame intensifies suffering. The phrase implies a spiritual perspective, linking to karma and manifestation—the idea that one’s thoughts and actions shape their reality, thus questioning personal responsibility for emotional pain.
Oil paint on canvas, 70 cm x 100 cm
Have you ever felt disconnected from your own body? This painting explores dissociation through muted, sombre tones and a distorted, fear-stricken face. The absence of a body heightens the sense of fragmentation, emphasising the unsettling divide between mind and self. The painting evokes anxiety and unease, immersing the viewer in this disorienting experience.
Oil paint on canvas, 50 cm x 70 cm
Inspired by the Latin phrase memento mori, this painting explores the inseparable connection between life and death. It subtly evokes reincarnation, illustrating the cyclical nature of existence—where life begets death, and death begets life. It reflects the paradox of endings as beginnings, encapsulating the eternal dance between mortality and renewal.
Oil paint on canvas, 60 cm x 80 cm
When negativity consumes the mind, it entangles thoughts until they become the self. This painting depicts that transformation—vein-like structures engulf the figure, symbolising overwhelming despair. The obscured face reflects a lost identity, suffocated by intrusive thoughts. It’s a warning of how unchecked negativity can reshape and define a person.
Acrylic paint on canvas, 100 cm x 100 cm
This painting examines the struggle of suppressing emotions to meet societal expectations. It critiques the pressure to appear stable while internally unravelling. Through distorted imagery and tension, the work questions why authenticity is discouraged, urging reflection on emotional restraint, the masks we wear, and the necessity of embracing true feelings.
Acrylic paint on canvas, 60 cm x 80 cm
Inspired by Chrisye’s Selamat Jalan Kekasih, this painting reflects the artist’s emotional turmoil during a depressive episode. The song’s farewell theme becomes a metaphor for her fraught relationship with art—love entangled with self-doubt. Created in vulnerability, it captures longing, despair, and the imagined rupture between artist and creativity.
Acrylic paint on canvas, 90 cm x 100 cm
"Smoking kills, but my mind kills me faster" encapsulates the painting’s exploration of addiction and mental suffering. It reflects the artist’s belief that mental anguish outweighs smoking’s physical harm. The work lays bare the overwhelming weight of internal struggles, offering a raw reflection on the intersection of addiction and mental health.
Oil paint on canvas, 90 cm x 120 cm
What began as a simple self-portrait became an intuitive expression of mania. This painting emerged from a mistake, evolving into raw emotion through frantic brushstrokes. The figure’s intense gaze contrasts the chaos, capturing the depth of the experience and revealing how spontaneity can transform accidents into powerful, expressive art.
Oil paint on canvas, 60 cm x 80 cm
This self-portrait captures despair, emptiness, and the weight of worthlessness, yet beneath the gloom lies resilience. It reflects the struggle of confronting pain while reminding us that emotions, like passing clouds, are transient. Even in darkness, the painting symbolises hope, recovery, and the possibility of renewal.
Oil on canvas, 60 cm x 80 cm
“Rumination” portrays the overwhelming grip of obsessive thoughts, with bold black strokes symbolising their suffocating presence. The figure is trapped within, consumed by its own mind. The painting explores how rumination restricts peace, highlighting the confining power of mental states and their ability to control and constrain the individual.
Oil paint on canvas, 70 cm x 100 cm
Inspired by a 2020 sketch by Nabila Aviani, this painting explores identity as a fluid, ever-shifting construct. Challenging the idea of a singular 'real' self, it suggests that identity is fragmented, shaped by others' perceptions. The work questions whether an authentic self can exist, refracted through others’ lenses.
Oil paint on canvas, 50 cm x 70 cm
In this self-portrait, the figure’s rolling eye and hand dragging down the other convey emotional turmoil hidden behind a calm façade. The half-face invites curiosity, leaving viewers questioning if the figure is on the edge of insanity. The work explores the tension between internal chaos and external composure.
Oil paint on canvas, 160 cm x 120 cm
This is a series of two paintings depicting the contrasting states of bipolar disorder. “Mania” uses cool, ghastly tones to evoke its overlooked nature, while “Depression” features vibrant hues, subverting expectations. The arrangement reflects the cyclical nature of bipolar disorder, with mania preceding depression.
Oil paint on canvas, 120 cm x 80 cm
The lightning striking the figure symbolises anger’s intensity and its underlying pain. Anger, as a secondary emotion, masks grief, sadness, and disappointment—emotions rooted in pain. This work explores how anger, though fierce, reflects deeper vulnerability, revealing that it cannot exist without the suffering that fuels it.
Oil paint on canvas, 120 cm x 90 cm
Inspired by the quote “Real eyes realise real lies,” this painting reflects on the pervasive influence of misinformation. It explores the blurred line between truth and deception, urging viewers to question narratives and uncover hidden truths. The work invites critical thinking and a deeper understanding of media manipulation.
Acrylic paint on canvas, 115 cm x 75 cm
This painting humorously captures a man and monkey engaged in an intense staredown, blurring the power hierarchy between humans and animals. It highlights the potential for coexistence and mutual understanding, inviting viewers to reflect on the bonds that transcend species and the harmony found in embracing our shared existence.
Oil paint on canvas, 70 cm x 70 cm
This self-portrait depicts a figure emerging from shadows, face etched with anxiety and paranoia. The painting evokes shock, capturing the moment of suspended breath. The eerie atmosphere reflects the chaos and disorientation of psychosis, with the figure’s expression intensifying the confusion and terror of being trapped in such an experience.
Acrylic paint on canvas, 140 cm x 100 cm
Inspired by Lenny Kravitz’s song “Again,” this self-portrait conveys longing and hope for a brighter future. The figure’s distant gaze symbolises a search for something greater, driven by optimism. Soft pastel colours evoke a sense of hope, reflecting the emotional depth of yearning for change and a better tomorrow.
2023
Too many faces too little time, 2023
Oil paint on canvas, 140 cm x 140 cm
Society demands we act normal, appear presentable, and feign happiness to conform. We mask our true selves, conditioned to display stability while suppressing vulnerability. But must we? Fear keeps us from authenticity, reducing us to mere performers. In the end, we become robots, serving expectations rather than our own truth.
I will wither, 2023
Oil paint on canvas, 50 cm x 70 cm
This painting delves into self-destruction, portraying the artist as their own worst enemy. Layers of paint and text overwhelm the figure, symbolising how self-destructive tendencies can rapidly consume a person. What begins as a structured portrait erupts into expressive chaos, reflecting the uncontrollable nature of self-destruction and the way it overtakes both identity and perception.
Oil paint on canvas, 140 cm x 140 cm
Society demands we act normal, appear presentable, and feign happiness to conform. We mask our true selves, conditioned to display stability while suppressing vulnerability. But must we? Fear keeps us from authenticity, reducing us to mere performers. In the end, we become robots, serving expectations rather than our own truth.
Oil paint on canvas, 50 cm x 70 cm
This painting delves into self-destruction, portraying the artist as their own worst enemy. Layers of paint and text overwhelm the figure, symbolising how self-destructive tendencies can rapidly consume a person. What begins as a structured portrait erupts into expressive chaos, reflecting the uncontrollable nature of self-destruction and the way it overtakes both identity and perception.